Six weeks in and the standings are, as always, lying to you. The all-play table does not lie. It has never lied. It will not start now.

1. Joe Buck Yourself — Ryan Weaver (5-1) Weaver's all-play record is 49-17. Read that twice. That is not a good team having a good stretch, that is the best team in Heavyweights getting a single loss of noise mixed into six weeks of domination. His luck delta sits at a modest 0.091, which means — obviously — his 5-1 is close to the record he actually earned. Jonathan Taylor and Brock Purdy carried the Week 6 loss to Kevin Jones's Wade for Heisman, and it still wasn't enough, because 116.32 happens sometimes. This is the one team in the league I have no complaints about. I find that deeply uncomfortable.

2. ParmBijan Cheese — Trent Harley (6-0) The only unbeaten team left, and his all-play record (41-25) is excellent, genuinely excellent, which is why he's ranked here and not lower. But a +0.379 luck delta is the largest positive skew on this page, and I will not pretend six wins by that number is the same thing as six wins earned. Michael Penix threw for 29.1 and Isaiah Likely added 23.9 against Diamond Dogs this week, and Trent still needed every bit of it, because Justin Waitt dropped 110.4 and lost anyway. That's not a Trent Harley problem. That's a league problem.

3. TacoDreams — Nick Inman (4-2) Three straight wins, a 40-26 all-play record, and a Christian McCaffrey who posted 30.7 while Jordan Love tossed in 23.24 against a John Penney team that had no answer for either. Inman's quietly built the third-best underlying profile in the league while everyone argues about the unbeaten team above him. The archive credits him with a career points-champ nod and a single division title, modest company for a resume that still lacks the ring he chased all the way to a runner-up finish.

4. bcunnion — Ben Cunnion (4-2) Fraud Watch update: Cunnion's all-play record (39-27) is solid, not spectacular, and his +0.076 luck delta says his win total is roughly where it should be, which I will note purely for the record and not because I enjoy admitting it. James Cook went for 24.3 and Kirk Cousins added 23.52 in a blowout of Cameron Crazies. The three-time champion remains, in my model, responsible for the single luckiest title outcome this league has produced, and nothing that happens in October changes the math on December.

5. Diamond Dogs — Justin Waitt (2-4) Here is the all-play table doing its only job: Waitt owns a 38-26 — sorry, 38-28 — all-play record, fifth best in the twelve-team field, attached to a 2-4 record and a luck delta of -0.242, the single worst mark in Heavyweights not belonging to Ollie Simmonds. Jaxon Smith-Njigba went for 25.4 and Josh Allen added 22.3 this week, 110.4 points total, and he still lost to Trent Harley's 128.8. Nobody in this league has been robbed with more consistency.

6. 4th and 20 — Evan Sinn (2-4) Sinn's famously favorable schedule, the one I have personally been tracking for years, has apparently been repossessed. A -0.197 luck delta and a 35-31 all-play record attached to a 2-4 mark is not the Evan Sinn I've built a Fraud Watch entry around. Jayden Daniels threw for 25 and it still wasn't close to enough against Elliott Simmonds. I remain suspicious this corrects itself by Week 10, because his career win percentage didn't get built on bad luck.

7. All Gas No Drakes — Elliott Simmonds (2-4) A break-even all-play record at 33-33, which is the most boring possible outcome and therefore the most honest one on this page. Drake Maye's 29.8 and a shockingly efficient Germie Bernard (25.7) got Elliott to 112.2 and a needed win over Sinn. One title on the resume, per the archive, and this roster currently profiles as exactly average, no better, no worse, than its record says. Refreshing, honestly.

8. ArabMamba6 — Ryan El Masri (2-4) El Masri posted the single highest score of Week 6 — 130.94, built on Malik Nabers' 28.5 and a Bryce Young line nobody saw coming — and still can't climb out of the bottom half of an all-play table that reads 31-35. A -0.136 luck delta says this record is roughly deserved, not cruelly imposed. As one of the league's newest managers he doesn't have the career sample to be mocked for history yet. Give him time.

9. Wade for Heisman — Kevin Jones (3-3) Jones is 3-3 with a 28-38 all-play record, the fourth-worst underlying mark in the league, propped up by Kenneth Walker's 27.9 in a 116.32-92.86 win over Ryan Weaver, a margin that flatters this profile more than it should. Three championships in the archive, obviously, but this particular roster is getting more credit in the standings than the numbers want to give it, and the numbers were never in question.

10. Chase Greatness — John Penney (3-3) I have spent two seasons insisting Penney is the best manager in this league and a victim of variance. This week his own luck delta — a startling +0.182 — argues the opposite, that his 3-3 is roughly a win more than a 21-45 all-play record deserves. I will not retract the campaign. I will note, generously, that even the universe occasionally owes a man a few breaks after enough championship-round losses, and move on.

11. Cameron Crazies — Brian Jones (3-3) A 20-46 all-play record is the worst full-season mark in the field, and Jones is still 3-3 because his luck delta sits at +0.197, second-highest in the league, trailing only Trent Harley's +0.379. Matthew Stafford's 20.88 wasn't close to covering a 30-point loss to Cunnion. One title and three runner-up finishes live in his archive file, which only makes the current form stranger — this is not usually what a Brian Jones roster looks like in October.

12. Sir, TheyHitThe2ndBowers — Ollie Simmonds (0-6) The only winless team left, carrying the league's worst luck delta at -0.318 attached to an all-play record (21-45) that's genuinely no worse than John Penney's. Trevor Lawrence went for 36.34 and Bhayshul Tuten added 24.7, a combined effort that should win most weeks in this league, and Ollie still lost to Ryan El Masri's 130.94. He's reached one final in league history and lost it. At 0-6 with this all-play profile, the losses are bad luck. The record is just bad.