SOURCES: Justin Waitt Is Out Of FAAB And Lost By 0.42 With A Zero In His Lineup, While Evan Sinn Sits On $100

Trent Harley's ParmBijan Cheese hit 7-0 on a schedule-assisted wave, Ryan Weaver edged the league's most tragic man, and two other games were decided by margins you could lose in a couch cushion.

Joe Burrow dropped 36.88, Ollie Simmonds is 0-6 and still trailing, and Monday night can't change what I already know. I said what I said.

Six Big Ten losers scored 57 points on Oct. 24, and this league has been playing the same brand of football since Week 1. Ranked from most watchable to least. I said what I said.

Trent Harley is 6-0 on the strength of a luck delta that should be illegal, Justin Waitt owns the league's fifth-best all-play mark and a 2-4 record to spite it, and John Penney's luck has, inexplicably, turned on my entire thesis.

A winless team in Ollie Simmonds is still bidding like he's got something to protect, the league's best record is hoarding FAAB like a divorce lawyer, and the trending board is stacked with skill names this league is sleeping on, kickers and all.

Nick Inman dropped 165, John Penney dropped to the floor, and the analytics guys can keep their luck math — I only trust scoreboards.

Two 5-0 teams, one of them inflated like a bad check, plus a cellar-dweller clash where the Vegas line is really just 'who hates themselves less.'

Trent Harley and Justin Waitt settle a grudge the standings have been lying about for a month, and Peter Kingsley reminds the league that points-against is destiny whether the app wants to admit it or not.

Nick Inman's all-play record outdoes one of the league's two unbeaten teams, Ben Cunnion's spreadsheet, uncharacteristically, isn't accusing him of anything, and John Penney's luck delta has briefly betrayed my entire campaign on his behalf.

Justin Waitt is down to his last $25 after a losing streak, John Penney is sitting on $94 doing nothing about it, and the trending board is mostly kickers nobody should want.

Ryan Weaver and Trent Harley both sit at 5-0, Nick Inman drops the week's biggest number since his last trip to a final, and Ollie Simmonds loses a close one he actually could have won this time.

Trent Harley is also 5-0, Brian Jones got run over by Weaver's offense, and I am still right about everything.

Ryan Weaver and Trent Harley both sit at 4-0 heading into Week 5, but only one of them has earned my trust, and it isn't the one still learning where the waiver wire button is.

Trent Harley and John Penney are both riding luck deltas that should embarrass them, Evan Sinn's favorable-schedule reputation has taken a direct hit from the schedule itself, and the all-play table remains the only honest document in this league.

Ollie Simmonds cut the tight end half of Sleeper is now sprinting toward, Ryan Weaver and Ryan El Masri played hot potato with Khalil Shakir, and Kevin Jones's newest add scored zero in Week 4.

Ryan Weaver and Trent Harley both sit undefeated through four weeks while Ollie Simmonds adds a fourth notch to a very different kind of streak.

The all-play says 39-5, the record says 4-0, and somewhere Barnwall is building a spreadsheet to tell you it's fake. I said what I said.

Two 3-0 teams, one real and one built on fumes, headline a Week 4 slate where Ben Cunnion keeps proving three rings don't buy you a bye week.

The all-play table has spoken, Ben Cunnion's three championships aren't buying him any luck in 2026, and two teams remain spotless while everyone else fights the schedule.