Six weeks in, Elliott Simmonds has not lost a fantasy football game. That sentence is getting less interesting to write and more interesting to document, which is exactly the kind of story worth tracking closely while this league is still young enough for every number to mean something.

Simmonds put 169.74 on Justin Waitt's Wisconsin Weezy in a game that was over by the time anyone checked their phone a second time. Malik Nabers went for 28.5, Jaxon Smith-Njigba added 25.4, and Drake Maye chipped in 23.8 — a stat line that reads less like a fantasy roster and more like a committee decision. Justin didn't exactly roll over; James Cook (24.3) and a 21.5-point game from Colston Loveland kept the box score respectable. It didn't matter. Simmonds is 6-0, his all-play record now sits at a preposterous 66-12, and his luck delta is still positive. Somebody is going to have to write the chapter on this season eventually, and it won't be a short one.

The other story nobody in this office wants to say out loud, including me: Chris Boyle is building one of the better teams in the Mid Major Mike Division, even if Brian Jones currently sits ahead of him in it. Boyle dropped 163.94 on Sean Gibbins — second-highest score in the league this week — behind Trevor Lawrence (28.34), Kenneth Walker (27.9) and Isaiah Likely (26.9), three guys having the kind of week that makes a roster look smart in hindsight. His winning streak is now three games, his all-play record stands at 53-25, and his luck delta has crept to -0.013 — functionally zero. Jones, meanwhile, sits at 5-1 and third in the standings off the back of his own three-game streak, so the division still runs through him first. For a team I've been asked by exactly nobody to scrutinize further, the math says Boyle's not getting away with anything. He's just good, and still chasing.

Sean Gibbins, for what it's worth, got a legitimate 30.7 out of Christian McCaffrey and still lost by thirty, which tells you everything about the gap between "your best player had a monster week" and "you won."

Elsewhere in the standings pileup, Joe Hamm finally has a win. Tre Tucker went off for 26.7, Jayden Daniels added 21, and jhamm89 — still a username wearing a franchise's clothes — put up 127.8 to beat Kevin Jones and the Bannermen. Kevin started two quarterbacks, got 18.3 from Josh Allen and 15.76 from Daniel Jones, and still lost because Rashee Rice contributed a flat zero. Joe is 1-5 now, which is objectively bad, but it's better than 0-5, and after last week's Winless Bowl dispatch, I'll take the correction.

That leaves Hunter Koepsell alone at the bottom with his personal purgatory intact. Hunter dropped 74.72 in a matchup against fellow Koepsell Charlie, whose Long Hair Dont Care team is now 5-1 and riding a two-game streak after Jonathan Taylor (21.1) and George Kittle (20.4) did the heavy lifting. Whatever the two Koepsells are to each other, the scoreboard didn't care: Hunter is 0-6, six weeks and six losses deep, with an all-play record of 18-60 that suggests this isn't matchup luck so much as a structural problem.

The bottom third keeps getting more crowded. Ryan Weaver fell to 1-5 after Tareq Hafza's Shadynasty got 25.7 from Germie Bernard and 22.4 from Matthew Golden, a combination Weaver's Baker Mayfield and Cam Skattebo — both zeroes — did nothing to answer. Evan Sinn dropped his fourth straight, 91.08 to 93.56 against Brian Jones, done in by Ladd McConkey's 2.7 and a flat 0.4 from Keaton Mitchell in a game decided by less than three points. A choice was made somewhere in that lineup, and it cost him.

Ben Cunnion is the week's quiet riser, 4-2 now on the back of Tyler Shough's 26.96 and Kyle Pitts' 25.5, enough to hold off Jamie Sinn's Tuten that thang up even as Jamie Sinn got literal zeroes from Tyler Warren and Jared Goff. Jamie falls to 3-3. Nobody is talking about Cunnion yet. Per league sources, that's usually when you should start.

Seven weeks from now somebody tries to explain to Hunter Koepsell why 0-6 doesn't automatically mean 0-14. I'd start drafting that column early if I were him.